getting back on track

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY <3

My family, sitting down for our dinner  on valentines day arent we cute!?

MmmMm the dinner i made for Vday :)

Alright this isnt going to suprize very many people but : Jon and I are back together .. again :) and for the final time now, i promise. <3 what can i say relationships are hard, you go through alot when you have been with someone for almost 4 years. Right now its going GREAT!  I love him so much more then i ever have, we are open with each other, we talk about everything, we include each other, we love, we are Finaly able to be a real family, we have TIME for each other. i am not stressed at all. which feels AMAZING. he makes me smile, laugh, and sometimes cry because he is an incredible man and father. I cant wait to marry him some day. i am ready to spend the rest of my life with him. Our past was our past, i think we are BOTH ready to really move forward with our Future :).. on that note...

I HAD ONE OF THE BEST VALENTINES DAYS EVER!!! 

after spending the afternoon with my best friend Megan, and her son Carter at the mall, i stopped by Jon's Mom and Mums and Papa, camille had made them Valentines <3 they loved them. I am so glad that she is able to know them because in my eyes they are wonderful, beside the crazy times i have witness the past few years , but i am really glad i know them :) I was really excited to show his mom the BEAUTIFUL necklace Jon got me! He also sent me some GORGEOUS flowers ( Carnations, my favorite :)) I made him and camille and amazing dinner, we had Shrimp Scampi, with mushrooms, Roasted tomatoes, and beguettes, and sugared mixed berries MmmMmm and we also made Chocolate Raspberry Kiss Martinis it was all so good. after we put camille to sleep it was mommy and daddy time.

i am so thankful to have jon in my life even though we have gone through so much in the past, i now know that being with him is the right choice and he is the right person for me, and i am supposed to be with him. everything feels so right <3

Camille is such an amazing person, and i am so glad that she is my daughter, i am still so impressed with her, she has gone to the bathroom a couple of times on her own with out telling us. her words and sentences are getting stronger and more clear that we know more of what she is talking about :) she is so smart i am very proud of her. Today i was able to put her hair in a PONYTALE she was so cute!!!! I really want to get her into some dance /gymnastic classes soon she LOVES to dance ( we just bought the KINECT for XBOX) she likes to dance while i dance with it , and she has been doing lots of summersolts :) she is such a silly girl.

I have signed up to be an AVON consultent to earn some extra cash, since i dont have a full time job right now.. still looking for a good job that will hire me. I have also applied to KIRKWOOD community college, for the summer classes, i hope i can get in and get going with classes. i want to learn business management, and then eventually get into some type of culinary :)

Not sure what she was doing here but it is a cute face :)

Starting her summersolt ....

and here is the finish :) its so cute to see her do these

Just being her silly self, with her goofy smile.

The flowers from my amazing Valentine <3

Valentines kisses for mommy

Mommy and daughter i love this picture!

Camille and her daddy :)

she loves her daddy, kisses!

Jon and i on valentines day at dinner

I love this man so much :)

My gorgeous necklace jonathan gave to me for Valentines day!

so pretty much i am content and in love with life right now and i am so proud of my family i love them to the ends of the earth and back.

oh yeah, almost for got... I will be 23 years old on sunday :)  ( feb 19th )

well this is all for now TTYL.
- Amanda

well.. The love of my life, and the one person who ive been through it all with.. well we are not together anymore.. thats about it. and i guess i will move on from here..

I want to say good luck to him thought, hope he is able to reach his goal.


gosh i cant even write any more ugh. .

Since i have been feeling a little down lately, i am thinking of things to do to keep my self occupied here are some things i am wanting to do

1.Family history both mine and jons (just to start some for Camille so she knows a little bit more about her family :) )  ill be researching mine which is carey/jackson and jons is Wenzel/courcelle, so camilles would just be carey/wenzel.. i think thats how it goes.. lol 




2. I want to sew a dress or something for my self and camille. i WILL find a sewing machine some where lol. just thought it would be nice to have something homemade. 


3.  still working on the baking thing although my dad said that he really liked my last cupcakes!!! yay. which is a good thing from him haha. 


4. Photography... well, im trying. there isnt much to photograph at the moment, or atleast i am not inspired right now since i really dont go any where. 


5. something i havent been very good at lately, is talking to my dad, theres been a lot going on and i think im still angry at him, but he IS my dad and i know i need to respect him and be happy for him, and show him ilove him. because i do, i just dont agree with some things. i want us to be apart of each others lives a little bit more. so i have been trying to be nice to him, i made jon camille and my dad dinner, talked to him about something that has been bothering me. it was nice. :) hopefully i can open my heart back up to him. 




anyways i was looking at some photos and i really love this one so here is a photo of the day : 

With the bad comes the good

welp today was Jon's first day back to college,,, he is a college boy! :) i am very proud of him, he looks all official with his back pack, books and lap top.  I know he will do fantastic learning because he is a smart person, wish i was as smart as him sometimes.

Today Camille and i danced in the Kitchen while we were waiting for the cupcakes to get done baking. She knows the song by REBA MCENTIRE - Turn on the radio :) we danced to that and danced to Shania Twain - Any Man of mine :P Good times. we also read this book Skippyjonjones its a really cute book, its actually a series. its about a Siamese Cat whom thinks he is a Chihuahua. We found out about these books from my sister Melissa Hayashi while we stayed with her in Utah for a couple months. 




after all that fun.. jon came home and did some homework, i was still cleaning up from baking, my back hurting like heck..and he is like IM HUNGRY. so i said what would you like to eat, then i was like OMG i seriously feel like a HOUSE WIFE right now, because I was trying to listen to him , and at the same time Camille was being rambunctious and he just laughed lol it was kind of funny, but  by the time i finished cooking and cleaning, i was starting to feel tired. i was looking at the classifieds and i became to feel really down, because im not really Qualified for alot and it really sucks. i apply to them anyways just for the chance of learning something know ya know. 


I start to get discouraged i guess and i just dont know what to do. I am home 24/7 with camille, Jon is at Work, School and then playing his games, ( granted he hasnt played them since we got back together and not even close the the amount he did before ) im home with camille all day and when everyone is home i try my best to make everyone happy, no job means less money for my family, no car to take camille out side of this neighborhood or anyplace, living at my DAD'S house.. well thats kind of self explanatory . it just kind of over whelming sometimes, i just need a little time for my self. i just get to the point every now and then that i should just stay in bed all day because i am not good at anything. ive been trying to keep my self busy, i just dont know how to pull my self out. but ill get there some day where i have the energy, and just know what i need and want to do. it just kind of sucks right now, and i m doing my best to get through it. 


BUT here are some photos of my cupcakes.. they were supposed to be Chocolate Graham Cracker cupcakes with Toasted Marshmallow but something went wrong with the Cupcake part i was really disappointed. i followed the directions correctly, i'm too embarrassed to put the photos up of those.. so i made a different batch :) 


these are White Mocha Cupcakes with Toasted Marshmallow. 


( I am very proud of the Marshmallow part i finally got it to stiffen up and glossy, i could never get it to do that when i made Lemon Meringue Pie.. so now i know how.. it just takes more patience lol) 

someday i will be getting a Kitchen Chef Torch lol so i dont have to use a lighter for things like this haha. oh man. 

big changes

HELLO! 

FIRST I would like to say that i am very proud of my daughter! she is so amazing and so smart. we are trying to really get her going with potty training!  I am so excited, one of the reasons we are going to kick butt with this is because she has this really bad rash on her bum, and it really irritates her. so we are  trying during the days to get her to wear big girl undies and during the nights we put her diaper back on. today she did so good, she only had an accident twice, other wise she tried to go on her potty! i teared up last night when i helped her put her big girl panties on because she's my little girl, and shes just growing up fast even though she is only two years old. 

1..2..3..4... red.. orange... green... blue... Circle...square..star..

we are also going to really sit down and help her with numbers and colors and shapes, her grandma bought her a couple books and she can tell me the shapes in the shapes book! she loves the STAR shape. 

thats my goal with my daughter, she is such a big girl! i cant even believe it :) i love her <3

2nd goal: to help my boyfriend QUIT is nasty habit of SMOKING ( as i wrote that he was watching me and he coughs  lol) i am trying to figure out a surprise or a reward i can give him and some support i can give him to help him with trying to cut back. 

I love him and i know he has lots of goals and things he wants to do, but i think he would be a lot happier if he doesn't need to smoke. it will be a lot healthier for our family :) i love him to pieces.

3rd goal: I am going to start working out, gotta lose some pounds and tone up! lol, i really want to lose some weight before my 23rd birthday which is in like 34 days ( 4 weeks )

i know its not going to be a lot of weight lost but, i think i will feel better about my self :) and i bet i will have more energy! i am so excited! and i am really going to push my self to do it.  and i am also going to start eating better i have to do it or else i m going to be DISAPPOINTED in my self. I hope that my boyfriend will keep encouraging me and support me with this. 

as for photography: I am trying to think of things to photograph, not sure what this week will bring. 

and i have a couple ideas for baking as well just have to get everything together.

well that's all for now, hope everyone has a good week! 

fluffy Snow 2012

hello!
so happy today that it snowed, ive been waiting for this for a while! but before i start with that, i tried to make a Lemon Meringue pie last night.. it was going good and i was excited to make it.. but it didnt turn out so well, sad face.. the Meringue didnt form its peaks like it should have, and the filling was watery for some reason. its been in the Fridge for almost 12 hrs.  and its still not looking right ugh. well i will be trying it again soon! wish me luck :)


SNOW: I have been waiting for snow so that i can take my daughter out and play in it. we are in a winter storm advisory warning thing lol, but i bundled her up and took her out side. Now the snow was light and fluffy, so i was kind of disappointed that we could build a snow man, but she loved to toss it up in the air. :) maybe tomorrow the snow will be SNOWMAN snow and we will go out again YAY. after we were done playing we came inside and i made HOT CHOCOLATE for Jonathan, Camille and I. ive been waiting for this type of weather and i love it because we can go out side and play in the cold snow then come in and cuddle up with some hot chocolate and watch movies. some one was a PARTY POOPER but he came out side for like 5 mins.   he said that he will come out side tomorrow ... Hopefully

SNOW ANGEL

 

      


              

I love my family so much! i love being able to do fun things with them. i really encourage trying new things for my daughter to experience a lot in her life :)

cant wait for tomorrow for SNOWMAN building!

ahhhhh, i m losing my voice! lol. so my boyfriend is sitting right next to me while i am writing this so it makes it kind of funny to do so. making me nervous lol just kidding, i am totally open with him :) well now he moved to sit on the floor.. ahh i love him! 

the past couple days i havent really been my self. been kind of down and hating my self for it. I have like no life besides my daughter and jon. ugh. i really want a job, i need a car, i really want to go back to school.. its just all taking to long to get where i want to be. I am so proud of Jonathan i see him growing and progressing through his life, but i am just sitting here with nothing. i seriously would rather work then do nothing all day. it kind of brings me down a little. i am thankful for who i have in my life and what i have, i just would like things to come into place for once. i need to get the motivation to do something to make my self proud of my life ya know? i am defiantly at a stand still and theres only so much time of standing still i can take ugh. but anyways....

I havent Baked in a couple days i will have to plan some treats to make tomorrow. but i have taken some photos  and here they are :) 

my daughter doing summer sults :) thought it was too cute because she thought it was funny that i was like peek a boo!

 This was so funny it made me laugh so hard hahah. she was jumping on my bed.

 out side playing with grandmas wind chime it was pretty windy out today. but she looked cute.

 aw i love her so much, she was making faces and putting her arms on her hips while looking into the mirror that was on the wall she didnt know i took this photo, she is also playing with one of her grandmas old fashion telephones she love talking into it.

 i love how i caught the ball in the air. i baby sit this boy, he is adorable and so smart for being an almost 3 year old. he impresses me!

 he found a stick and said that he was a NINJA :)

 i love this photo! edited it and i think it look amazing i had to share.

well there are some of my photos i hope you enjoyed.